Living with Diabetes

Not sure if others see this, but I find it ridiculous on how much focus and money is spent towards getting a cure for diabetes. I am a Typ2 diabetic, so I know that a cure would benefit me, but I cannot feel smug about it. I rarely see any company/government taking steps to find a cause for the rise in Type 2 diabetes in the world. It is very frustrating to see this situation. I blame the way the pharmaceutical companies have developed. It is a by product of capitalism I guess. Research is done and financed by individuals, or corporations. They need to make money. No one makes money if we can stop the spread of the disease. So all the money goes into finding medications to fight it. If it is something that you will have to keep taking for the rest of your life, it is perfect. What better than creating a product which you will need for ever. Some governments sponsor research into the cause etc of the disease, but these are mostly academic stuff. Who is going to bother to take this data ...

Got my A1C checked. Three months ago I was sitting at 7.6 Last week I was at 6.5 I feel much better. I think the diet changes and exercise are beginning to yield results. Hope the next check is even lower.

Some of the folks around the world might not be interested in this post, but then this blog is about me. The elections for 2008 are fast approaching and candidates all over the place are out there talking about all sorts of things. I am beginning to wonder what their positions are relative to my diabetes. Will their policies and ideas help my life going forward. I plan on running through their websites and look for things. I wonder if anyone else has analyzed the candidates for their type2 diabetes policies.

The sugars are sure coming out better these days. In the month of Aug, my average fasting sugar was 148. Last week my average fasting sugar was 118. A 30 point reduction, I am happy. What am I doing - 1) I am doing moderate amount of exercise each day. 2) No carbs in the night. I am only filling up on vegetables and protein. 3) No food after dinner. Even if I am hungry, I tolerate it and sleep on water. Lets see how long this keeps up.

Sometimes I catch myself living in fear of my diabetes. It tends to occur after a couple of days of higher sugar numbers. The task of checking blood sugar becomes a small anxiety. I fear the results I will see on my meter. Curiously in this fearful state I end up wanting to eat more to pacify myself. And the desire is not to obviously eat things that will keep the sugars down. After a couple of days of being in fear, I finally get it, tell myself to be brave and face the challenge head on. I start eating more responsibly. Become more active through the day. Check blood sugar regularly. Morale goes up, days seem to be brighter and waking up in the morning is no more a painful process. I would like to be strong enough to never end up in the fearful phase. But got to deal with this weak brain as it is...One day, I will be stronger. I am sure making myself mentally stronger will help my whole life, not just the diabetic part.

A couple of months ago I put on about 10 pounds of weight. I did this during the height of summer, go figure. When I should have been out taking walks and mowing my lawn, I was sitting inside eating goodies. Now trying to lose this weight is such a hard thing. Every step is painful and the numbers just do not show up. Eating better is hard since you end up feeling hungry. I am thinking it is better to just starve myself. That way I can stay hungry but loose some weight. Some amount of exercise has moved into my daily life. Now I need to add more and do it regularly. Trying to keep in mind - No pain no gain.

I do not know what was special about Monday, but lots of weird stuff happened. I lose a close friend and three lives get extinguished. I woke up in the morning and found out that a close friend of mine was moving back to India. We used to be really close, but had been out of touch for a while and now he was leaving, this would end up leaving a void in my life. I felt bad that we are not talking together much and felt bad that I had no close friends left any more. There was an emptiness left. Then I talked to my parents and they told me that my cousins young husband just passed in the night. They guy went to sleep and never woke up. I was shocked. He was much younger than me. Brings mortality back into our heads. I told myself that the treadmill is going to get started to being used very soon. Went to work, come back and hear that my Father in law's closest friend passed away in the night too. Heard that a close friend, whose parents I adore, lost here grandmother. It seemed life t...

There is so much going on in the world these days related to the mobile phones. Maybe it was always there and I just did not happen to notice it. It is an overwhelming feeling. Everywhere you turn you see something being done for the mobile phone. Every company is working on making the mobile experience as good as the one on the internet. Some examples - - Yahoo has a great mobile application that you can download and then you can see all your calendar, addresses etc easily on the phone. - Calorie king has launched CalorieKing Mobile , a great resource for me. Now when I am outside and decide to eat in a new place, I can quickly run the numbers through Calorie King database and know how much carbs I am having. - Facebook is now trying to replicate their experience on the mobile. I can't wait for this to get done properly. It is all very exciting. I am being tempted to create a mobile prescence for the fightType2.com website. I hope someone out there is actually reading this blog ...

I am ready to finally introdue my website, www.FightType2.com . I created the site to help me keep track of my numbers. I designed it to be useful for me such that I can check and enter my sugar data when and where I need. Putting the database on the web helps since now I do not have to translate everything inot a Excel spreadsheet. I can also track my weight and A1C data on the same website. Next I want to have better reports generated so that I can track things like how my fasting sugars are moving on average with my weight. Lots of cool data, but would need me to keep track of the information for atleast a couple of months. The site is geared towards Type2 folks and only lets you track certain sugar numbers. For type 1 folks or the type 2 folks who really want to track more details, I would recommend trying out SugarStats . The SuagrStats folks seem to have a nice slick interface. Probably have more than one person working on their system. Lets just get hold of our Diabetic lives. N...

I have had diabetes for over 2 years now. Like any other diabetic this has been a nice roller coaster time. There are good coasting times and then there are those rocky times where nothing you do seems to calm your sugars down, and then you get stressed and sugars go whacko some more. I all this time my spouse has been a great support. I did not realize how much that means. She has cooked great meals to help keep the sugars down. She has helped keep my focus on the things I need to do. But lately things seem to be changing. There was a change in her attitude. She had been asking me to consider going on medications. Last week she finally told me that sometimes she feels trapped in by my disease. I was shocked at first, but then got OK with it in a few hours. Why should she not feel this way? After all she now has to deal with a person that suffers from a life long and possibly terminal disease. She gets to see me go through the mood changes as the sugars move around. I think I realize t...

I do not know what is up with me. I have been making all sorts of excuses to not get on the treadmill. It is sitting in the garage with my Bowflex all disassembled all over it. So neither do I do my Bowflex, because I cannot even make 1 hour of free time in my day to assemble it. Neither does the whole clutter leave space to fold down the treadmill to start using it. It is a perfect storm condition to not do any exercise. On top of that, I am freely eating peanut butter. No wonder the sugars beginning to creep up. Got to get back into life and start again. Diabetes sure messes up with you. You are cognizant enough to know that you need to do something, but also not wanting to do something because without doing it, you know for sure that your days are numbered.

So now I have had 2 weeks on this medication. Here are some of the things that I am dealing with - 1) My highs seem to have gone higher. Same food, but the high has jumped from 180's to 240's. Not sure if this is related to the medication. 2) Gastrointestinal problems seem to come and go. Some days I have almost painful gas and other days nothing. I am going to try some of the ideas sent by others like eating the medication in the middle of supper. 3) Odd stuff happening to the body. Every once in a while I get a odd feeling. Almost reminds me of hypoglycemia that I used to experience with Glyburide. But I checked my sugar, it was 180. So it was not low sugars, must be something related to the medication. The fasting sugars have not dipped yet, but I am willing to wait.

My A1C numbers were just not to my liking. I am also having trouble keeping up with the strict diet. When you hit issues you realize how much of the support structure you need around yourself to have a good diabetic friendly regimen. So anyway, I am giving up the fight without any medication for a little while. I am string off on Metfornin. The doctor put me on 500 mg during dinner. We will wtach and adjust as we go. I have been on the medication for a week now. Not much change, but right now I have a lot more gastrointestinal issues. They say it can take about a month for your system to adjust. So a new experiment begins...

Lately the news lines are again talking about how coffee can reduce the risk of diabetes. This has been going on for a while. Here is an article from the ADA about this issue - ADA on Coffee I think that some amount of coffee does help me manage my type2 diabetes. And the reason it helps me has nothing to do with any ingredients in the drink. It is to do with what the drink does to me. Here are my two reasons - Reason 1 - I am lazy by nature. So given a chance I would like to sit down and rest. Having a cup of coffee gives me a reason to get up, make the cup and drink it. Then when the caffeine kicks in, it gets harder to just sit around, so I get more active and this helps keep sugars down. Reason 2 - When sugars actually go high, it seems like I am wearing a lead suit. This is when I go to coffee for sure. I need some way of keeping myself up and not just falling asleep. I have tried the dowsing off thing, but it does nothing to the sugars. You have to get active instead. It is wei...

This is a purely satirical piece, so do not take it seriously :-) Lately my sugar numbers are just off the roof. I am seeing numbers like 240, 250 on the meter. Lately the oil prices are just off the roof too. The price of a gallon of oil has crossed $80. Once you cross a limit, it never seems shocking again. Now a number over 200 for my blood sugar gets a response...bah humbug...I will live. Same with the process of oil over 80, response is ...whatever...if I cannot afford it, I will not travel... So what do the two have in common... 1) They have both broken through some limits and now the numbers will never phase me as they rightly should. 2) They might have an impact on each other. If I can get myself motivated right, to reduce my sugars, I would walk or bike to work, thus consuming lesser gas, thus making a small dent in the gas consumption and reduction in the price. In the same way, a higher gas price can motivate me to take the bike to work, thus bringing down the sugar levels....

Last six months has been crazy with my A1C swings. 6 months ago, my lab result said A1C was 7.8. I was shocked. Promised myself that I would take better care of food and exercise. 3 months ago the lab check said A1C was 6.4. I was beginning to relax. Then came a bunch of family and a lot of stress related to them and work. So last week I get by blood test, A1C numbers are now at 7.6 This is very depressing.

I mostly like to eat at McDonalds. I tend to go for the Fish sandwich or the double quarter pounder. I seem to do good with either one of them. Sugars are a little higher since I eat the whole bun, but the large amount of protein in the burger seems to compensate. I tend to be under 160 two hours after the food. A little bit of exercise and the numbers are lower. Yesterday while on the road, I got really hungry and Burger King was convenient. I decide to try them out. They had a new stacker series, I went for the two patty one. It also came with a slice of cheese and some bacon in it. The buns seem to be a little smaller than the ones in MD. But the taste was excellent. Not sure what the sauce had but the taste was delicious. It was good enough to want to come back again. MD, if you are listening, you might want to make things more tasty. The sugars were not shappby eiter,. I was 150 after basically eating the food and sitting in the car. The BK burger has 32 g of carbs in it. Here is ...

Now I have diabetes and I have no use for all the sugar that I used to eat. What do we do with all this extra stuff that is still being produced? Well here come our friends at Sony with a solution. They have developed a battery that runs off sugar. Read all about it - http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/sony_biobattery_dc;_ylt=AoulhoduMbGmXQH233ksOUAjtBAF

I know it makes no sense. You would think that after two years of seeing the doctor regularly, one would be used to the idea of getting the results of the latest blood test. But I still get anxious. It starts a couple of days before the visit, when I have to start planning my trip to the lab. I do a 12 hour fast and land up in the morning at the lab for my set of blood draws. Then I setup an appointment with the do c a couple of days after so that the results are in. Then there is the wait in his office reception area, then the wait for him to come into the room and then finally you get to hear what the results are. Of the 10 times I have been on this routine in the last 2 years, I have only had one bad experience. This should make me feel secure, but I don't. Outside, I remain cheerful to the rest of the world, nonchalant as usual. Inside I cringe and worry if the numbers are trending wrong. If my feet will stop feeling responses from his needle pricks, if my cholesterol would hav...

It was not by choice that I did these experiments. Lots of things were happening in my life which led to a multitude of issues. I was gaining weight, I could not exercise, my stress level was up, minor depression was setting in. I figured we are going in, might as well treat it as an experience. So I started watching for changes as my average sugars started shooting up. It was not uncommon to see 200's two hours after meals. First, my feet start to hurt. I had a weird pain in the balls of my feet. They were constantly hurting. It was as if someone put a needle in there all hight long. The pain would be worst in the morning after waking up and also after any period of rest. Second, I start to get blurriness in my vision. There seems to be nothing wrong with my glasses. The vision deteriorates as the day goes by. Seeing in the night gets to be a strain on the eye, especially when I am driving. Third, I started to get more depressed. Where a couple of weeks ago a 200 on the meter woul...

Finally time to come back. Last few weeks have been hectic. I have not had so much family over in such short time in the last few years. Lots of interesting things came out of the visits. The stress hit the roof, food intake took off with the constant craving for cheesecake. Needless to say the sugars were out of the roof. Seeing a number over 200 become normal!!! More on this interesting study of my own self in the coming week... so stay tuned.

I am amazed by how much we in America have become accustomed to not waiting. It is in front of me with the long awaited release of Harry Potter book 7. All over the place there are people trying to get an advance copy of the book. Of all the possible folks, my trusted NY Times wrote a review of the book before it got released - NYTimes Review before release . This is just too sad. I would like to see the book and have a chance to read it. People trying to ruin it all around does not help. There seems to be a rat race going on to see who can first break the ending to the world legally. How does this relate to diabetes? Not sure. All I know is this attitude of entitlement now is a big problem when dealing with Diabetes. I am learning to wait to see results of work. You have to exercise for a whole month before your weight starts to fall. You have to work hard on diet and exercise for 3 months before you see a fall in your LDL and A1C numbers. Things that come fast, like a craving to eat ...

For the last two months I have been running a test on fenugreek seeds. Back in India, one of the traditional remedies has been to eat fenugreek seeds. In the local language, Hindi, they are known as Methi Seeds. What do I do? Every night I take a spoonful of the seeds and soak it in water. Every morning first thing after I wake up and check my fasting sugars, I eat these soaked seeds. They can be bitter but over time you adjust to them. I just drink all the water and chew up the soaked seeds. Sometimes I need more water to push them down. Results I feel like my post breakfast sugars are down from where I used to be. My feeling is a drop of about 10-20 point. Hypothesis I suspect that the fenugreek seeds probably have some vitamins or minerals that help, but a lot of the help is from the fact that they are so high in fiber. Eating lots of natural fiber in the morning helps the gut get used to consuming sugars slowly. Also I end up drinking atleast a big glass of water. I have hear that ...

Like everything else in life, one has to setup boundaries around his/her diabetes. Self management of the disease is a very individualistic endeavor. You have to be on top of things and the only way to know if you are succeeding is to constantly check and record. Here are some of the boundaries I have defined for myself - 1) A1C to be under 6.5 2) Morning sugars under 120 3) Sugars 2 hours after meals under 160 4) Exercise atleast 30 minutes a day. I do the following measurements to keep these goals in check- 1) Get A1C checked once every 3 months. 2) Check sugars 4 times a day. Once after waking up and 2 hours after breakfast, lunch and dinner. 3) Try to exercise. The boundaries are set, and I am currently not living within them most of the time. Setting the boundary will help me get back in there. I hope that in a couple of months I have met these goals and then I can tighten the boundary a little more.

Got checked for my vital Diabetes numbers last week, my A1C has come down to 6.4 from 7.2 The doctor and I are both happy with the progress. I am beginning to get more exercise and am looking forward to garden work now that summer is finally here. Next target is to bring the A1C numbers down to under 6.0.

I came across a statement from the American Association of Diabetes Educators about their support for the Diabetes Screening and Medicaid savings act. You can read it here at - Support Statement I have talked about this act in a previous post - My Previous comments on the diabetes screening and Medicaid savings act My feeling on this act have not changed. I see that the bill has been recommended to the finance committee, but not sure what that means. Hope that they are now discussing how to fund this. I do sincerely hope that one of the major prevention items they add is getting people on a better health track. Healthy living is something that needs to be a key stone of any type 2 disease treatment. My personal opinion is that medicine and society need ways to motivate people to eat healthy and exercise. The thing is that the same formula does not work on each person. You have to change the message and its delivery based on the person. The current education is so cookie cutter that it ...

Last week there was a flurry of activity in the financial media about how much money diabetes is going to make in the coming years - Diabetes Drug Market So I start thinking, this is a lot of money. No wonder there are quite a few players in the market, but I still do not see much relief for the average customer. For me the largest expense of the disease is the test strips. I have a good insurance, but if not, I doubt that I might be able to afford testing 4 times a day. It drives me crazy as to how much money these things cost. Interestingly the cost is the same on the strips all over the world. So it is not that the folks in the US are getting bilked, folks all over the world are. I wish someone would start a non-profit that makes test meters and strips and sells it at cost. That would be something. Bring the cost of the strips from almost a dollar a strip to few cents. But I am also looking more into which companies to invest some money into so that I can get back some money from al...

I was talking to my mom last night. She is a Type2 diabetic and is currently on Insulin. I asked her if she is exercising and if she is taking her multivitamins with extra calcium. She said that she is trying to go for a walk each day now that the weather is improving. But she is not eating her multivitamins. She said that she does not want to pop yet another pill. Got me thinking. I sometimes feel like I am very anti medication when it comes to taking presciption medicines for controlling my diabetes, but every day I am eating - 1) Fiber supplements 2) Multivitamin 3) Fish Oil 4) Cinnamon tablets. When you see it from my perspective I think that I am not popping any pills to control my disease. And then I take the view of my family watching me after dinner put 4 vitamin tablets into my mouth. They sure see me as popping pills. I am religiously taking these because I believe that they are making it easier to control my sugars. So am I a pill popper or not???? I would like to say that i...

My eyes caught this news report today. A legal act was enacted in Indiana, a state in the US. Diabetes School Care Act in Indiana Couple of odd thoughts come to mind. First , why does an act like this have to be created. It feels bad to know that the awareness for diabetes is still so little that specific acts have to get created to achieve some simple care for kids in school. Second , thank you for ADA, the American Diabetes Org for making something like this possible. And thanks to all the volunteers. But what about the hundreds of millions of people not in the US . Who is looking after their interests? Third , isn't there a better way to achieve this than through legal acts. I wonder how much money was spent to get this act through. In the back of my mind I also question if some of the drug companies sponsored any of this. Did they give money in the hope of selling more of their products?

From all the reports I read, the stomach is a pretty important piece of the diabetes type2 puzzle. So I have been thinking about it for a while. Seems like I am always worried about shrinking it. There are two ideas of stomach in my mind - The External Stomach This is actually the belly as seen from outside. A large belly does not mean the organ is big internally, but that you have a lot of fat around your waist. This definitely needs to go down. Need to exercise and consume the fat off the body to get this to shrink. The internal stomach This is the actual organ. This can get big too. Changes shapes. It is almost like an elastic that can be trained. You see a lot about the various operations folks are doing these days to shrink it. Some put a band on it, some put staples. Lots of things. I have been using fasting to get this down. I notice that slowly reducing your food intake does the trick. You will be hungry for about two weeks, but it works. In the last two weeks, I have brought i...

I have added the Diabetes Online Community Ring to my site. It is a really cool idea. Works for some to randomly look at diabetes related blogs. Give it a whirl. Join in the ring if possible.

Just kidding with the headlines. As of now there is no known connection between the phases of the moon and the blood sugars, but can we be certain? This post is about the frustration I sometimes feel in understanding the sugars. You could eat the same thing two days in a row and the sugars could vary widely. It is very perplexing. I am constantly amazed by the researchers keep finding out on the blood sugar control. Minor amounts of physical movement, what you eat for breakfast, how much sleep you got, any small amount of stress you feel, anything could be impacting the blood sugars. There are days I feel like I understand and can master this. And then there are days like today when it confuses you totally. I think today I am going to relax and try not to think about it. After all stressing about not understanding why your sugars are high will only lead to higher sugars, won't it !!!!

I woke up to a morning sugar of 132. For some this is probably great and for other it is probably really bad. For me, this was excellent after a whole week of waking up in the 150s. I have had a bad cold and a really sore throat. Did not feel really hungry but had a constatnt aching body. So I was not really eating bad stuff, but was surely not moving around either. I am not sure what the colds have to do with higher sugars, but for a good four days, food or no food, the sugars kept thenselves in the 150's or higher, all the way till 210s. I was checking 4 times a day. I am glad to be getting back to normal. Hopefully today was not a anaomaly and the suagrs stay in the 130s.

I try to keep away from politics but all the talk about ADA made me realize that sometimes you have to get involved to make things better. It is OK to once in a while expect others, like the ADA, to solve some problems for you, but eventually you have to get involved too. So I took a deeper look at this new US Senate bill - The Diabetes Screening and Medicaid Savings Act (S. 755) . What is this bill? It has two parts - 1) Make testing for diabetes part of Medicaid. I agree on this one. Testing and diagnosing early are great savers for Type2 diabetics for sure. 2) Comprehensive benefits for individuals with Diabetes. Now this part is a little tricky. I like what it says in principle. We should give better and free benefits for diabetics that are struggling especially ones who do not have coverage and cannot afford it. But too many open questions left like who is going to pay for all this? The cost of managing diabetes keeps going up each year. Possible additions to the Bill 1) Provide ...

Got some interesting comments on my last post about the ADA - Living with Diabetes: What I think about the ADA I got some insights into myself based on the comments. I do not feel like the ADA is doing much for folks like me who want to manage their type2 diabetes without drugs. But since I was not happy with it, I assumed that other, like folks with Type1 are the ones that are satisfied and have their needs met. The comments go to show that that is not true. Just because I was not satisfied does not mean that someone else is either. Lesson learned, stick to what you feel. Do not prejudge what others think. When in doubt, ask. So now with the ADA, looks like it is leaving lots of people unstaisfied. Nto sure what can be done. Maybe the organization can split inot smaller groups. Having focusssed groups for each style of disease and its management might be a way to provide better support. Not sure if the ADA has the reqources or the manpower for something like this, but it might be wort...

ADA stands for the American Diabetes Association. The ADA is the organization behind www.diabetes.org . I see the ADA as a big behemoth organization. It is big, huge and does some good work. Active in the org are doctors on the board who deal with diabetic patients day in and day out. The organization wields a lot of power and does great work for advocacy and influencing the American political system. I respect them for the kinds of litigation they have taken on. It is good to know that there is one place where you can go with issues about your disease if you need to. They also do an OK job of educating folks about the disease. What I do not like about the organization is the fact that their philosophy about carbs etc does not jive with my living. I find the ADA a lot more biased towards handling Type1 diabetes. For Type2 the message seems to be that you have to go on medication and progressively move towards an insulin regimen. I disagree with that attitude and feel that it is possibl...

I am shocked with what is going on. I imagine college as a fun and free place. The fact that someone can come in with weapons, block the doors and start shooting randomly is insane. But then I guess that is what people around the workd are thinking the killer was, insane. Back in India while I was in college, every year I would hear atleast two cases of students losing it, nervous breakdowns aka NBD. Most of the time it was related to stress from the pressure of studying. Not once did I hear any one of them deciding to hurt others and go down in a blaze of fire. But I suspect that soon this sort of thing is going to start showing up everywhere in the world. One of the problems of being connected all over is the fact that copy cats can spring up anywhere. I pray for the well being of the families of those who lost people. I cannot even begin to imagine the sorrow. I pray for the family of the killer as they will bear the burden of his actions for the rest of their lives.

Last week I went on a customer visit. Made an intersting observation while I was on this trip. The csutomer site only had free coffee for its employees. Where I work, I get lots of free drinks, all kinds of sodas, juices, bottled water and great Starbucks coffee. I noticed that I actually drank lesser saoda while I was on the customer site. There was soda available through the vending machines, but that was not as easy as opening up a door and taking your pick. I realized how many soadas I do end up drinking. They are all diets, but the number is quite high. Weird, but I felt that there is a disadvatage of having all this free stuff be available. On the flip side, since it was not easy to grab a bottle of water and drink it, my water consumption went really down. Not good as I started feeling more tired by the evening. I am still not sure if having th free stuff is good or bad, but will watch my consumption of the diet sodas going forward.

Feeling a little philosophical today. There have been some odd thoughts relating to death circulating around in my head. It all started with the 60 minutes episode about presidential candidate Edwards interview with Katie about his wife being diagnosed with breast cancer . In response to one of the questions, Elizabeth Kerry said that she told her kids that she now knows what she will probably die of. I got thinking. It got me thinking. Now that I know I have diabetes, I pretty much know that I would die of complication related to Diabetes and Heart Disease. Sad, but true. I am not being negative, just thinking rationally actually. Then there came a business trip. It has been a while since I had got onto a plane. The mind went back on death while sitting on the plane. There is always a possibility of it dropping out of the sky. But I sat down, closed my eyes and went over quickly the facts that most of the loose ends are tied up. I would be leaving my family emotionally distraught, but...

Monday I have to go to a customer site for a business trip. I am dreading this trip. For the last week I have kept a strict control on my sugars and am seeing great results. Now suddenly going on a trip across the nation is very disconcerting. First of all, there is no good food available on the flights. There is carbs galore around the whole airport. Secondly, I will not be able to eat better since I will be dining with other folks at the site. The choice of places to eat goes down when you have multiple people wanting to eat together. Thirdly, I am going to be missing my wife and kids. The stress of that is bound to keep the sugars up. Overall there is nothing but anxiety. But I hope to deal with it and learn to be better. This amount of anxiety does not seem normal.

There are so many tempations around. I am on a vacation/worki trip and staying with family. It is amazing how many temtations are around. There are little kids and their food. The adults also love sweets and carbs. There are donuts and mini muffins and ice cream and white bread galore in the refrigerator. I have managed to keep an iiron heart and stay away from it all. That is nto really true, I did taste each thing atleast once. Luckily, I am on the check four times a day roll. So watching a sugar over 200 brought me back to earth each time. I am hoping I can have one day with sugras in the 160s. I am amazed at seeing how bad some of the folks are eating. Also worry about some of the kids eating junk as they are not getting the right diets. Is it is a wonder why Type 2 is showing up in younger folks? I see the signs already with the foods that folks are running after. Just three years ago when I was here, I was enjoying the exact same things. Everytime I used to come for vacation, I w...

For the last six months took it easy on my sugars. I let myself eat almost anything I wanted, did not pay much attention to exercise. Last week got tested and the A1C number was - 7.6. Weight went up by 10 pounds. I was shocked. A high A1C means I am courting disaster. Now I am back on the wagon. Checking sugars 4 times a day. Watching every morsel going into my mouth, walking around at any chance I have. Goal is to bring the A1C under 6.5 in 6 moonths.

For dinner I had some cheesecake, I skipped the bread. 2 hours later 196. Holy crap. I cleaned up dishes for another hour to get some physical activity in. The throbbing headache slowly melted away. Woke up in the morning, the sugars are 142. So anothe depressing day starts. Maybe the kids will cheer me up after they wake up.

So today I have manged to see an even higher number on my meter. Wakeup check - 144 2 hours after breakfast - 267 2 hours after lunch - 178 Have not had dinner as yet. This is reallly depressing. I am not getting enough sleep. Work is piling on. Sugras are piling up. Not sure what the A1C numbers will be. Got to get a handle here. If only I can reset some things and start over.....but then I would miss out on all the fun of putting things back together again....this life is something....I have heard about a site called secondlife.com....Seems like you can reincarnate yourself into a new online person....sounds like a good idea....

Finally today I decided that it is time to start monitoring the sugars rigorously. So I checked 2 hours after breakfast - 206. Interestingly I do not feel any high sugar symptoms. My theory, In the last few weeks the body has gotten so used to higher sugars that now 200 does not bother it. Body, be Scared and Warned !!!! I am planning to get back to living in the 140s...

My morning sugar number are still hanging in there. Have not managed to get them down, but also managed to keep them there. Got a couple of theories on why the numbers are higher - 1) Put on some extra weight on the waist. The scale does not show it, but the pants do. I think some muscle is converting into fat. Have not been exercising and also been drinking full fat milk. 2) No exercise. Will be corrected now. 3) Extra stress hangover from the last couple of weeks recovering my son from his surgery. The good thing is that he is doing better and now some of that stress is going away, but has left a deep emotional scar on all of us. Looking forward to better days/mornings ....

If you are starting the thread here, on Jan 12th my son went through a major surgery. He is just one year old. I was jittery and totally nervous about the experience. My previous post talked about my state after the procedure was done. Then a couple of days later came the post-op shocker. The doctor had warned us that it is going to be rough, but I had no idea how tough it would get. We had to remove the bandages ourselves on Monday, which is totally insane. This would never happen in India. Only in the US does medical insurance try to skimp on all costs and have the patients be responsible for taking off bandages. It was a nightmare. The kid screamed so much that he lost his voice. There were three people working on him, two to contain him and the third, me, taking off the bandages. They were supposed to peel off, but they refused to. I had to call the physician on-call and have him be on the phone as he instructed me to take off one layer after another. Imagine peeling off bandages ...

This post has nothing to do with diabetes. It is about another part of my life, my children. My son just went through a major surgery. He is just a year old. He was in the operating room for three hours. The eight hours I spent in the hospital with my wife were really really hard. I sat through that time and remembered the last time I waited for hours in the hospital, my dads triple bypass surgery. Both the surgeries have left huge nightmares in my psyche. I am thankful for good doctors and being fortunate enough to be able to afford them and the nice hospitals that the procedures were done in. Surgeries are truly amazing advances of science for me. Being able to rebuild parts of a persons body and having them come out living and as normal as before, is a miracle that science brings to us. But at the same time they also leave me feeling helpless. I think it is because you have no control left on the situation. For my son, it was really acute. I am one of the primary care takes for the ...

Seeing President Bush taking a new approach to Iraq, I took a hard look at what I need to do to get my diabetes back into control. It has been over 10 days into the new year and I have not gone on the treadmill even once. I am still eating more than what I should. Still not testing more than once a day. Well, I think the current actions are not working. This is not going to lead to tighter control. So I am going to be making changes. I am going to take away choices. I will make it necessary to take a walk each day. Have to test after each meal. Restart keeping track of the sugars into some format, right not I will go back to my Excel spreadsheets. I feel more confident of my new plan of action than President Bush's. I pray for all the American soldiers and all the people in Iraq. They all deserve better that a violent life of war. May there be peace soon.

The new year is upon us. I have sworn to start waking up to the 120's. Right now I have managed to get it into the 130's. Not good but it is still better than the 140s that I was having in the last two weeks of December. I hate waking up to higher sugars. It really messes up my mood for the rest of the day. And the fact that your body is hurting like someone beat you up in the night, is another unpleasant sensation. There are too many mysteries for me related to higher sugars. Body aches, odd sensations in the legs and hands, unclear vision, ringing in the ears. But I am setting the goal to reduce the morning sugars and will reach it by the end of the month.

I am trying out the feature where you can e-mail to blogger and have it post to the site automatically. I figured as part of the new year, I am going to learn more about blogging and all the features that are available. I have moved my blog fully over to the new blogger, including migrate the template. Also added myself into feedburner.com. This is another way to get blog entries e-mailed to you. Cool new technology. Next I would like to explore del.icio.us. Some social networking through e-mails will be good. I have been wondering of there is anyone out there podcasting about diabetes. Would be interesting to find out.