Living with Diabetes

So now a new Year rolls by. Not sure why, but most of us seem to give this some importance and take it upon ourselves to resolve to do some things. So I am resolving to do - 1) Exercise regularly. 2) Check sugars more consistently. 3) Always remember to take my medications 4) Work on being happy with life Things looked up on the first day of the year. Then on the second day I got a voicemail that my trainer decide to go back to school and quit the gym. That is a bummer. Now I need to find a new trainer and do not know if that will work good or not. So signs from the universe are that challenges will come with resolutions :-)

I am not always open to moving the timings around, but I tried it out last week and now it seems to be working better. I used to take my 24 hour insulin in the night before I went to bed. It was working great for my wake up sugars, but the day time numbers were not doing so great. So last week I tried to move the insulin to the mornings and lo and behold I have a lot more control during the day. So happy to report that changing the timing can sometime actually help make things better.

Sounds crazy but sometimes I think that I am in a war situation against diabetes. The disease and my mind are both striving to control the same resource, my body. My brain is the benevolent ruler of the the domain. It currently control all the pieces of the body and tries to do the best job so that they are all coexisting together in harmony. It tries to keep things going and if something fails, it tries to compensate and see if others can take over. The diabetes is like an invader. It wants to take over this strong resource and use it up and leave it for dead. It does have accomplices that help it invade the body. It works slowly and methodically. It slowly starts to open up various different fronts to start to make it harder for just one brain to keep fighting. Diabetes is a fearful foe as it does not need any rest. And when it takes over an organ it has no intention of making it better, stronger, faster. All the diabetes wants to do is conquer, use it all up and leave it behin...

As I sit here thinking what do I really want, I cannot help but notice the desires of most human to want everything right. I want my diabetes to not just be in control, but to go away. But then I also want to be able to eat whatever my heart desires but not loose weight. I also want to not have to have a rigorous exercise schedule. Basically I want everything without having to work hard. Even I know that is not feasible :-) So I will learn to be thankful for what I have rather than complain.

I have always been cautious of drugs that I take. My philosophy is that I want the drug to be in the market for atleast 10 years before I am willing to consider taking it. The only logic behind this is that that is ample time to start to hear about any serious issues. It is not foolproof but seems to make sense to me. I continue to be amazed by the issues related to medicines that keep coming up. The latest controversy is about Actos. Some serious side effects have been identified. Check out this article on drugwatch.com - http://www.drugwatch.com/actos/side-effects.php  The FDA announced that there might be risk while taking this medicine. But most doctors are taking a wait and watch attitude - http://www.diabetes.org/for-media/2011/medical-societies-respond-to-pioglitazone.html I do not take this medication, so not sure what I would do in this case. But everyone taking this medication should have a serious chat with their doctors.

It has been a long time since I blogged. Last weekend I had some inspiration from someone who accidentally discovered this and used some of the information and I remembered why I started this in the first place. So I will start pthis blog up all over again.

Last few days I have a nurse who is calling me to checkup on me and know how I am doing and if I have seen the doctor. Thing is that I have not taken care of the medical stuff that I should have, so I am avoiding her calls. In a way it is great that she is calling and reminding me, but then in a way it is bothersome when it is happening at a frequency that is not comfortable. I should not have to avoid her. I know it is not her problem, but my guilt, sigh... Got to get back in control of my doctor appointments. On a side note, I have never actually met her. Only talked to her over the phone. Sometimes I wonder what she looks like?? Is that weird?

Saw a very interesting link related to some facts that scientists have discovered regarding Dolphins haveing a Diabetes switch that gets turned on and off every night. Essentially every night the Dolphins become diabetic and each morning they turn their Diabetes off. Can't wait to see what more they find out. Read more about it - Dolphins and Diabetes

You know you are a diabetic when ...  you reach for the glucometer and not the coffee pot first thing in the morning. - This is from Bob Fenton You converse with yourself when you are going to eat carbs late in the night. You have nightmares about loosing limbs because you could not control yourself during the party. You are scared to eat even a small piece of cake in case it starts the craving cycle for more. You intimately know what A1C means When you reach a party, you first check out what low carb foods are available You have a reminder to visit your doctor every 3 months for checkups You are or have been a subscriber to Diabetes Health magazine You are or have been on Metfornin Random folks give you remedies of all sorts to fix you up.. You carry some sort of fast sugars with you in case you run into a low!!! You are terrified of the shaking and loss of control when you experience a low You have agonized over deciding to tell folks at work whether you ha...

Full disclosure - I did not buy this book, the publisher sent it over to me to review. And I am glad that I did get my hands on this great book. What an inspiring story. Zippora gets Type 1 diabetes early in her life when she is training to be a ballerina. This was a time when knowledge about the disease and its cures are very primitive and she goes through an odd assortment of cures before she settles into the one that works for her. All this while she is growing through the ranks of a great ballerina. What an achievement. Reading the book was inspiration in lots of ways. Reminded me of the struggles as I was discovering what it means to be a diabetic and how to change my life. She brings out the angst of trying to balance food, exercise and LIFE at the same time. Amazing, but true. Also lots of insights into the life of a ballerina. I had no idea of how complex this dance form is. It was fortunate that my 5 year old started taking ballet lessons at the same time too. I actually...

You start worrying about every small crack or cut on your feet !!!

Just read this article. Finally someone is coming up real life tests for an artificial pancreas. It will take time, but there is hope in the future of some improvements with handling this disease. Business & Technology | J&J, charity to start testing artificial pancreas | Seattle Times Newspaper Some of the other promising researches are - 1) Replace the Islets in the pancreas so that you can start making more insulin again. 2) Genetic recreation of a new pancreas.

Looks like the ADA finally came out with new recommendations on what is considered diabetic, pre diabetic or not based on the A1C numbers. Nice to know. http://www.diabetesincontrol.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=8789&catid=1&Itemid=17 Lots of times I have had folks who talk about taking the fasting test and trying to manage it, e.g. by eating no carbs the night before and fudging the results. I always tell them that it does not matter. This result is not for the doctor, but for you. If you are pre-diabetic or even diabetic, it is better to know than not. If you do not know, you will cause a lot more damage to yourself. With the A1C test, it is almost impossible to fudge the results, so I am happy about this improvement.

In my case, you do not... You feel so bad that you just continue on the destructive track and tell yourself that you will eat better for dinner and exercise before sleeping...

First of all, I will like to state that I think of my blood glucose meter as a girl. So when I talk about it, I always do it in the feminine form. What she ( my meter ) says is what goes. My meter cab control how I start my day. If I wake up and she gives me a good number, then I coast through the rest of the day a much happier person. If she gives me a number that is too high right in the morning, I know that it is going to be one of those hard days. It sure is hard to recover from a bad morning number on my meter. Sometimes the meter loves to blow my fun cover. Like the other day I was rolling through the day a happy camper and was thinking that the sugars must be doing good as my body seems to not want to drop like it is made of lead. So I happy brought her out of her case and poked myself and waited eagerly for the results....298. I was lost. She had taken the winds out of my sails. And sure enough I got lethargic right after that..What is up with that. The...

I have been trying to understand this whole depression, feeling blue thing. Why do some of us diabetics suffer with it so much? It is amazing how depression is so prevalent amongst the diabetics. Not sure if this is a factor of some chemical changes due to the lack of insulin or is it the fact that we have to spend our time worrying about what is going in and what the sugars might be running and what the future is bringing. If you are looking towards a future with possible amputations, blindness, sores, ulcers, it is kind of hard to be upbeat about it !!!! The closest analogy I could come up with was a person skating on thin ice. You are feeling good as ypou are skating and can feel the cool wind on your face and feel free with the movements. But under you, the dark swirling waters are always existing. It is just a matter of time and chance that the ice might break and you get wet again. Hopefully you are alble to pull yourself back up and come back on the ice sheet and be safe. I ...

Sometimes I feel like diabetes has me trapped in a a jail. I can see the world outside from a small window and can see others have the freedom to roam free and enjoy their lives, but I have to stay within the confines. Like any other good prisoner who craves the freedom, I break out of my cell one in a while and go romping around the hillsides. But soon enough the Diabetic police catch up with me and bring me back. My hands are always tied in the back. I would like to be free and spread myself wide and reach as high as I can, but the cuffs keep me in check. They are my own good, to keep me and others safe.

Now that I am using the bus, there is so much more time to read. Last week I decide to get back at reading the diabetes related books. A while back one of the companies had sent me a book to review for them. I would totally recommend this book for any person to read. The book is very well put together and a lot of fun to read. I was entertained reading it and learnt some new facts and brushed up on old ones. The little research briefs that are sprinkled through the book really helped my scientific brain. Grab a copy when you get a chance - It is definitely time to read some more. I feel better reading it and learning some more.

It is a lesson that I seem to have to keep getting once in a while. Sometimes I want the changes to come fast, infact really fast. I put in a lot of effort, then I get discouraged when the results are not what I would like to see and then obviously I end up quitting the stuff and basically give up. I read somewhere that it take about 6 months for a habit to change. So the idea is to make small change into the habit or the behavior and then let it soak into the routine of life for about 6 months and then you make more smaller changes. Sometimes I think that 6 months is a long time, but then when I think back, 6 months was march this year. It is not that long of a time.

I have started using the bus to go to work. I started it in the month of September and I have managed to keep it up. It has added more time to my commute, but also gives me a chance to walk about 40 mins a day and I get to relax and listen to music on the bus. So now I am not getting a lot of sleep, still just 5-6 hours a day, but I am not in danger of a car wreck or anything since someone else is driving me. This seems to be potentially beneficial deal for me. Hopefully I can continue it in the winter months, especially when it starts to rain in Seattle.