Finding out that you have diabetes

I seem to remember the day in May when the doctor announced that I had diabetes.
A few weeks before I had decided to get life insurance. Life was looking good. Had a new baby, things were doing great at work, it made sense to plan for the future. The nurse who came to check us out for our medical profiles told me that my fasting sugar was unreasonably high and then the insurance company denied my request. It was shocking as I believed that I was in a reasonably good health.
I finally went to see the doctor. He told me to get a blood and urine test. On seeing the result, without batting an eyelid he said that I had diabetes. It was the weirdest feeling. I just took him word. I had no real reaction to the news. It is as if I was expecting that news, which I think I was. Both my parents had diabetes, but I was only in my mid thirties. I did not expect that to happen to me at this early stage.
But I accepted the doctor on face value. He was not exactly the best doctor either. I realize now that it makes a difference to have a more empathetic doctor. It was the first time I was seeing him, so I did not really know what to expect. The doc just stood there, said my sugars and cholesterol were too high. He said that I should start taking medications. He went over the cycle of starting with Glyburide, moving on to others as your body seems to not respond to Glyburide any more and then finally ending up with insulin. He delivered this information to me with no regard to the fact that he just diagnosed with me a terminal illness. Maybe he was reacting to the fact that I was totally devoid of emotions as I heard the diagnosis.
The person who was the most emotionally affected with this was my wife. Thank god for someone who cares for you. She happened to be in the doctors office with me, maybe a result of some sort of ESP. She knew something bad was coming and she was there with me. She was there asking the doctor what do we do know, where do we go from here?
It took me a couple of days for the NEWS to sink in. Once it did, it broke me. I could not have any peace. All I could see was that this is eventually going to kill me. I saw that from this day on, if I want to have a life, I have to change the way I eat, play, exercise and stress. It was going to all change.
Even though I was devastated on hearing the diagnosis, I did recover, or atleast I think I did. Will talk more about the process of dealing with the news in later posts.
It sure is therapeutic to write this stuff down. Feels like an emotion pouring out. I hope others reading this blog find this useful.

Comments

Jenorama said…
Anil, Thanks so much for starting this blog, and especially talking about the need for support and community. We are hoping to try to create that with and for folks just like you on The Diabetes Blog. Thanks for reading and sharing your blog with us!

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