Living with Diabetes

MorBefore I had to deal with Diabetes, I always was a little gung ho about life. I felt like you needed to enjoy and live the way you want to since life was to be enjoyed. Then I discovered I got diabetes. Funny thing, with diabetes the chances of you knocking off the earth are so much higher. But my philosophy began to change. Now that I knew that my chances for survival are lesser than the average man, I actually worried about what I would be leaving behind. In all fairness, I also had my daughter at the same time. So a combination of events made me realize that yes, we are all going to die. But instead of having a ball for myself, I started to think about what I leave behind for others too. So I discover that being selfish my not be the best way to be when you die. Not that I have changed much in the last 5 years, but atleast I have figured something out :-) Now for the actual changing part...whew....

Last couple of days I have been feeling a odd sensation in my left arm. I feel some small aches in the chest area too. If I am distracted I do not notice anything, but otherwise I can get worried. I am wondering if I should just go in and get tested even though it might just be gas os something? Maybe it is all in my head. Having diabetes is such a pain sometimes. I get worried going to sleep since I read that a lot of diabetics die a silent hear t failure death in their sleep. I am sure this is just plain paranoia and am hoping that writing it down calms my nerves some.

In two small works - I FAILED I was a miserable failure. By the second day I had forgotten all about being positive and was wallowing in negative emotions. I keep struggling to come out of it, but not yet successful. Then last week I saw a movie, FIREPROOF. Excellent movie and very motivating. I am trying out the book. I have done the first day and am feeling positive. This is a 40 day course compared to the seven day diet. I think this time I can do it.

Lately I am noticing a connection between the weather and my disposition. The clearer and Sunnier the weather, the better I feel. I had not noticed this before. I wonder if this is a result of the medication and the advancing of diabetes. It could also be that I am on vacation and am noticing the weather now. When at work, the outside weather has very little bearing on how you are doing.