Living with Diabetes

I got this question asked recently in one of the comments posted to my blog entries and it got me thinking. I am not sure why I am so much against taking the medicine to control my diabetes. So here are some random thought that come to mind - 1) When I did take Glyburide for a month I had three low sugar moments which were definitely not a pretty side to handle. I was a nervous wreck going to work and coming back always wondering if I have food and will I be able to catch the sign in time on the freeway as I drive. 2) Most medicines have side affects. Nothing is free in this synthetic world. 3) Looking at the literature tells me that once you are on the medicines you are sort of on a ladder systems. You have to keep changing them till you get to Insulin in the end. 4) I understand that eventually I might have to get to the medicines, why make a big hurry. I am not against medications. Infact I have been comfortable popping pills as needed. Just very nervous of being on any pill for a r...

I am always amazed by what people think about diabetes. The ADA seems to have done a good job of taking care of educating people in the US. There is still a lot of work to do, but atleast the general public is beginning to get an idea of what this is. But in the Asian American communicate I am amazed by what folks still think about this disease. Everyone still thinks that all this is a disease that is caused by SUGAR. The worst is when I meet people who have had the disease for some years and are still thinking that it is all about sugar. I see them eating white flour chapatis and potatoes and still hear them saying how they are controlling their sugar intake as they do not add any to their daily cups of tea. This really gets my goat. But educating them is not an easy task. I am seriously considering setting up a non-profit of my own and getting down to the process of educating the Asian-American and specifically the Indo-American community about this disease. So many folks at risk for...

Saw a link on the diabetes daily and made me think - http://www.diabetesdaily.com/content/2006/05/19/keeping-my-mouth-shut.php I have not hidden diabetes from people around me, but I do not go out there and make a visible spectacle of testing for my sugars. When I do test, I do it in the privacy of my own room. When I am at a party, I test in the bathroom. I believe that there is no reason to hide the disease, infact we should be open about it as more people need to talk about it. The more we all talk, the more the awareness for the disease and at times I have helped others who are trying to deal with the disease when it hits their families. There is so much ignorance about this disease and we need to come out and tell people about it. I also believe that we need not make other uncomfortable by checking the sugars in front of them. I am OK doing this in front of family. My 2-yr old daughter always comes up to me and tell me - "Dad, can I help". She sometimes playacts the act ...

This question came up in the comments in the last post that I did. Right now, I am not taking any medication. It is hard but I am trying to control my sugars just using diet and exercise. In this whole process I am finding that it is much easier to keep the numbers in check for the day, but the morning sugars are the hardest to get a handle on. Lately my target for the morning sugars is to have it under 120 and the sugars two hours after breakfast/lunch and dinner is to be under 150. So the numbers after the food are doing great. The one in the morning is going 50/50. Half the days I am over and half the days I am under. Still not able to figure out what exactly can I change to control this. To get better morning numbers, the doc has advised me to take metfornin. I have filled the prescription, but have not taken a tablet as yet. Something in me makes it hard to take the tablet. I think I was scared of the low sugar conditions that I hit when I was on Glyburide for a month earlier in ...

A1C was 6.8. LDL - 124 HDL - 38 I feel a little bummed about this. I was expecting a lower A1C. Also hoping for a better LDL and a higher HDL. But I am going to look at this positively, atleast it was not worser. The doctor was concerned that my fasting sugars are coming higher, mostly over 120. They are in the 130s most of the day. He thinks I need to consider going on some sort of medicine to be taken with supper that will keep my fasting sugars low by controlling the lever. I suspect this might happen is I cannot take control. I am experimenting with some dinner foods now. Maybe add some protein and reduce the carbs consumed in the evening. Also need to get exercise wagon started. Luckily with the summer here, it is easier to take walks, but that does not seem to help the night sugars. Walks and other stuff keeps the daytime sugars in control.

The time is approaching to go see the doc for the three month checkup. This is going to be the fourth visit for the year, which means that my diabetic anniversary is coming up. Kind of have mixed emotions about this whole year. In some ways it went really slowly and lots of adjustments in life with the disease. And in a lot of ways it went really fast and an year is already over. What do I expect, I expect the A1C to be around 6.5. What about the next year - 1) Have to reduce 10 pounds of weight. 2) Have to setup the bowflex and build some muscle. 3) Do more regular exercise.

Last week I got excited that I had managed to have a great week with sugars in control. I wanted to reward myself. But when I thought of how, I ended up thinking about eating something I really really like or missed since now I watch what I eat. A few more minutes and I could see how weird this whole things was. You reward yourself for eating good, by eating bad...hmmm This is a real thinker issue. What do I do now? All my life I have rewarded myself with some sort of food. I am sure it was something that started really early in childhood. Either it was something I created or something my parents inadvertently created in me. But for the last few decades that is what has been ticking my bones. Now, the great D is making me rethink the whole paradigm of rewards. My existing reward system has to be dismantled. What should I replace it with. Maybe I reward myself with a new exercise tool, nah, have too many of those already. Maybe a new electronic gadget. Unfortunately that can be a prett...

Last week I saw an article on the Diabetes Blog by Kristi - five-personal-accounts-of-reversing-type-2-diabetes Made me start thinking about whether there is a real cure for diabetes right now. The Type 1 folks do not really have any recourse right now. The Islet impantation seems to really promising. For the type 2 folks, seems like there is a lot of information out there. Most cases it seems like folks say that you can get rid of this disease if you loose enough weight. My feeling is that loosing the weight probably makes it better, but you can never ever get rid of the problem. Once you have diabetes, you have it for the rest of your life. You can change your lifestyle and keep it in control, but you can never get to the point where you can eat that large piece if cake and not have the sugar spike like crazy. The more I think, the more I realize that I do not want to be eating like I used to before I found out that I was a type 2 diabetic. Now that I know more, I would rather eat a...

Have been having a hard time coming up to write some information here to share with the other folks. Life has suddenly taken a turn for more busy, but I will start making time to make sure I start writing more information. There are lots of good ideas swimming in my head and just need to come in write them down.

The last week my sugars have been great. I think taking some extra fiber is paying off. I am still not getting enough exercise, but an definitely trying to relax and go with the flow of things. Life's oddities at home and work are still stressful, but I am able to remind myself that I need to relax as some things are beyond my control. The fasting sugars are still a little off, but definitely doing better than the first week of March. What are my targets - Fasting sugars 2 hrs after breakfast 2 hrs after lunch 2 hrs after dinner

Some days I try to come to a conculsion on whether my diabetes is in control? Who is in control? Is it me Is it my brain Is it my body Is it my pancreas Is it my diabetes I can't understand and I am sure there is no single answer. The way I feel is always related to so many variables for the day, week, month. Lately I have seen my weight start to go up, my sugar numbers worsen. But now with the summer approaching, I hope to get active again and take control of this.

Seems like life is becoming driven by numbers. I have a couple of friends whose life seem to be living by the price of their companies stock. They happen to have stock options and have bet the rest of their future on their stock. It is hard to warn people to be aware of the Enron trap when they see stories of riches coming from Google stock. These folks are euphoric on the days the stock goes up and really sad when it starts moving downwards. Coming back to my story. My life is now ruled by the sugar numbers. Not sure if that is any better that the stock numbers. I console myself with the fact that on the sugar numbers, I have a small amount of control. I try and get my sugar 4 times a day, One fasting, and then 2 hours after breakfast, lunch and dinner. The month started off great. On Mar 1st, I had and execllent day - Fasting - 112 Breakfast - 133 Lunch - 134 Dinner - 117 I felt great. It was the best start to a month that I could have hoped for. But today morning on 2nd, my fasti...

Why me? How come I have deal with diabetes so early in my life? What did I do wrong to deserve a life of constant vigilance of my sugars? There are days when you just have to lie in bed and here these questions for which there are really no answers. I guess the big problem is that there are no answers to these questions. Science can't tell us, as yet, what is the main reason for our diabetes. If only there was a test that can tell you why your system is not performing to its best abilities. The why me question is a particular brutal. My brain has two sets of reactions to it. On a good day, ones filled with eternal sunshine and my optimistic self ruling my life, I always tell myself, because I can handle it. I feel like it is just another test in this life and you have to do your best to pass it. I see how my life is changed for the better and now I watch what I eat, get some regular exercise and keep myself in better health than ever before. I think that I was given this disease to...

Kerri brought up a good question about what to do with the rapidly rising count of meters that we have. I have collected four in the last year, a Freestyle, two freestyle flashes and an Accu-check. I vaguely remembered that Cindy on the diabetes blog had talked about it a while ago. So I went looking and found something, though it did not make me happy as in the US the meters are mostly given away free to make the money off the test strips. So what do I do with these leftover meters. Another quick google search brings me to an interesting site for recycling medical instruments and sending them to the developing world. http://www.amsa.org/global/ih/mierp.cfm

For the last year I was happily using the Freestyle Flash meter. It was nice and small and working great for me. But I was having to pay 35 copay with 100 test strips everytime. So my insurance sent me a letter that I could save some money by using one of the other recommended products. They had a couple there but not Freestyle. I decide to try out the Aviva Accu-Check meter. It promised to use the least amount of blood and faster results, almost as good as my freestyle. And the insurance copay would drop to 15, which would save me $20 each month, which is $120 for the year. Money that I guess I could invest in companies doing some research into diabetes or related medical activities., I am thinking Acusphere. So anyway, I get this new meter in mail, with no charge to me ofcourse. I finally take it out and take a look at this humongous meter and a pen shaped poking device. I load the lancet device and keep on trying to draw some blood from my forearm, my chose site. I could never ge...

Here I am sitting with the new infant trying to burp him while my mind is searching fir ideas to cut down my carbs some more and it hits me, I am now an infant myself, I am a diabetic infant. It is uncanny, but life as a diabetic seems to be a rebirth experience. Each day you learn something new. It seems like nothing is in your control and you are being taken care of by other people and things. You are taking small bites of food, trying to figure out what works for you. There are so many new things to learn. Contemplate and adopt. Eating habits have to change, exercise habits have to change. The concept of relaxation has to be redefined. TV watching has to be made an exercise somehow. Can't really eat out in any restaurant anymore. No more pigging out on cakes and pies. I do think about my mommy more. The flip side is the ability to take delights in small pleasures. Discovering that a McDonald's California Cobb salad without the dressing is very filling and excellent for sugar...

Lately I am having too much trouble getting a handle on my fasting sugars. They seem to be having a mind of their own. Here are some numbers from the last week - 125,149,134, 139, 128, 138 The delta between the number is just too great. I used to have better numbers, but might be worth looking into. Odd thing is that my dinner BG was 120, an excellent number for me. I just have two spoons of peanut butter, spend working on the computer for about and hour, went to sleep for 7 hours and the morning sugar is 138. I guess during the night my body decided to send some more sugar into the system. Odd that it needed to. I sometimes wonder is the body is like a machine. It needs to feel comfortable at a certain sugar number and if you drop, it will bring it back to that. Maybe I body wants to be in the 130 range. I am sure I can bring it down by some mind control and more exercise. It might also be time to investigate some late night snacking. Maybe some sandwich meat slices before I sleep. It...

Last week I made a mistake which made me feel such a rookie. I did not pay attention to serving sizes. I went to trader Joes looking for the Goat milk yogurt. There are way fewer carbs per serving (1/4 cup) than in regular yogurt's. They were out. So I got some Mediterranean style yogurt cheese and ate a 1/4 cup. I saw the rating on the side but did not see the serving size which was just 2 tsps. I was shocked in the morning to find incredibly high sugars. It took me two days to find out what went wrong. Made me feel pretty stupid. Lesson learned, never assume, always check and recheck the serving sizes.

There is a whole series of articles- This post refers to: Kleinfield, N.R. “ Diabetes and Its Awful Toll Quietly Emerge as a Crisis .” Bad Blood, Part 1 . New York Times . January 9, 2006. Kleinfield, N.R. “ Living at an Epicenter of Diabetes, Defiance and Despair .” Bad Blood, Part 2 . New York Times . January 10, 2006. Urbina, Ian. “ In the Treatment of Diabetes, Success Often Does Not Pay .” Series: Bad Blood, Part 3 . New York Times . January 11, 2006. Santora, Mark. “ East Meets West, Adding Pounds and Peril .” Bad Blood, Part 4 . New York Times . January 12, 2006. Fountain, Henry. “ On Not Wanting to Know What Hurts You .” New York Times . January 15, 2006. Wade, Nicholas. “ Gene Increases Diabetes Risk, Scientists Find .” New York Times . January 16, 2006.

A great article on diabetes and its growth in the NY region. For the first time I thought of the disease as an epidemic. The article is very stark and depressing. Read with caution. It is filled with tales of horro of what happens with diabetics. It would have been nice if they had also conbcentrated on various new treatements etc. But it was a nice article to read and remember that there is a lot still to do to fight his epidemic. Read more at www.nytimes.com/2006/01...