Living with Diabetes

A key thing I have learned in the past decade of living with the awesomeness of Diabetes is the need for balance. My life was surely not balanced, and not in perfect balance right now. I learnt to Balance: My food intake My physical movements My mental stress My anxious thoughts My sleep My reading I still need to learn to Balance: My friendships My relationships My INSULIN ...... My learning

We have all thoughts about why we ended up with a disease that lives with us forever. And since it does a number or our emotions, we have to constantly question whether it is a blessing or a curse. I think it is a BLESSING because: It keeps me thinking about what I eat. It makes me wants to move and exercise It makes me think about my mental health and its impact on my life It makes me care more for others who suffer diseases It reminds me of my mortality I think it is a CURSE because: I cannot eat whatever I feel like, so never free. It is a constant pain in the butt to plan the day especially when you travel. Waking up with high sugars is a big downer for the rest of the day I am constantly thinking about what will go bad in my body next I am spending lots of money on medications Overall, I think like anything else in the human condition, it is a mixed bag.    So my dear readers, let hear your comments on where you believe you are on this i...

I know that when the long weekend rolls up I start to feel like I need time..yada..yada ...and start to slip into the familiar negative regions. So I am going to avoid it all this time with these ideas - 1) Monitor my mood - I will watch as I change from a happy positive person and figure out ways to life my mood. There is so much good to look at and bask in. 2) Think of the Sun - I will think about all the good that God has given in my life and not let the current situation with the difficulties keep me down. I will put my trust in God (This is going to be the hardest , to just let go). I have been blessed with lots of good time in the past and will have a lot of good time in the future. I need to trust and do all the things that I need to do to weather through this set of difficulties. 3) Clear your mind - Another idea that I can already see the benefits for. I will not focus on the negatives. It is hard, but I will push negative thoughts aside and meditate on all the good.

Last night I was having a discussion with my wife and the initial years of eating large amounts of meat came about. So in the night as I stayed awake thinking about a lot of stuff, I imagined how cool it would be to be a bystander and watch my own life with diabetes. Would it not be cool if I could just sit outside and watch me make the odd decisions that I did take. I wonder if I would think that this person is making silly mistakes but is getting things in control as he moves forward, or will I be frusterated that this person is just not learning and keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. Will I be judging myself from the sidelines and saying this guy is not going to last that long... Make you wonder how the rest of world on the sidelines is looking at you and what they are thinking .... Think about it.... Maybe the lesson is to be careful in judging others when we ourselves are on their sidelines...

I continue on the journey to becoming a positive person. The last week I had more than one meltdowns, but they were lesser in number and were lasting for shorter durations. It is weird to analyze your own negative meltdowns. It seems to start like a deep rumbling in the bowels of my mind. It starts to swell and burst up into the forefront. When it hits the surface it seems to be traveling so fast that there is no stopping it. I have tried to stifle it, but that never works and it blows out later. Best is to let it come to the surface and have it pass. I try to remove myself from the situation if I can. If not, I focus my mind to something religious. It is weird but the process of turning positive is also making more more religious. Funny how that seems to be related.

Lately I have noticed that I am becoming a ball of negative energy. My thoughts and my actions are a lot more negative than positive. I am beginning to feel like a person who is a perpetual grouch. So I decided to take back my life from this negative well. I decided to follow the metal diet as prescribed by Emmet Fox as in - http://www.alchemylab.com/seven_day_mental_diet.htm I started it on Friday. The day tunred out to be excruciatingly hard. I had a humongous headache at the end of the day. Saturday morning, I ended up fighting with my wife early in the morning and that took me back deep into my negative self. So as Emmet says, I abandoned the plan. Now I have taken a couple of days off and watched myself and my reactions. I realize that I always feel like I am getting the raw deal in every thing, which is not neccesarluy true. Today I restart the diet again. Will keep the blog updated on how it goes.